Bad Elf Winter Ale...$4.99 / pint
England meets the New World in this strong, warming golden ale. A generous amount of famous English malt is masterfully balanced with an astounding 45 ounces of fresh hops – including English Cascade – per barrel. Bad Elf is brewed by Peter Scholey, master brewer for the late and much-lamented Brakspear Brewery of Henley-on-Thames, England. Peter has bought up the entire crop from the single row of Cascades grown in the U.K. ELF WARNING: Consumption of too much Winter's Ale may be bad for your elf and may impair your ability to drive a sleigh or operate toy-making machinery." -- importer
Very Bad Elf Special Ale...$5.99 / pint
It seems like every year these Elves just get worse and worse . . . This Very Bad Elf is stronger and darker than its predecessor. Anyone out there remember Brakspear’s Vintage Henley? That was one very special brew. This is Vintage Henley cranked up to 7.5%, for the sole purpose of making your holiday bright.
Based on an original recipe from 1795, Very Bad Elf has nutty and sweet-roasted flavors attributable to its use of an ancient pale malt, uniquely recreated for this delightful ale. A rare variety of Fuggles hops dating to the mid-1800’s gives the beer a soft, rounded bitterness and uncanny drinkability.
The illustration for the Very Bad Elf label was painted by Massachusetts artist Gary Lippincott." -- importer
Seriously Bad Elf English Double Ale...$5.99 / pint
Seriously Bad Elf is Peters's very English interpretation of a Belgian Tripel, brewed to warming 9% alcohol, especially for his rapidly-growing American following.
Seriously, you don't want to miss this beer.
BREAKING NEWSSeriously Bad Elf has been banned in Connecticut! That little red speck you see in the background of the label? Why, that's none other than Kris Kringle, Santa Claus, who, according to the Connecticut Department of Consumer Protection, cannot appear on a beer label. Sleep well, Connecticutians! Your government is working overtime to protect you. (By the way, you can buy Seriously Bad Elf in Massachusetts. And New York. And Rhode Island. But please do not carry the offending bottles across state lines.)" -- importer
Criminally Bad Elf Barleywine Style Ale...$6.29 / pint
It turned out to be a case of mistaken identity, of course - wrong place at the wrong time...but Claus was soon back on the the street with the polite apologies of the authorities - no questions asked. All's well that ends well, surely, but still, the reporters wanted to know...it takes its toll, doesn't it? "Indeed," sighed Claus, "my elf is going crazy, and I fear that I shall soon go crazy as well." And with that he hoisted a great flagon of his favorite Barleywine-style ale, silently contemplating the future and straining to remember why he got into this particular line of work in the first place.
Insanely Bad Elf Imperial Red Ale...$3.49 / 11.2oz
My goodness", muttered Claus, recalling his visit to the Institute, "the restrictive outerwear, the padded room-even padded Christmas tree ornaments. Horrifying! Yet the little chap seems happier than he’s ever been" Claus took a thoughtful sip of a most warming red ale. "Perhaps sanity is over-rated...Ho,Ho,Ho!"
Lump of Coal Dark Stout...$5.99 / pint
Looking forward to a depressing holiday? Here is liquid consolation. This 8% bittersweet chocolate stout is the best you could hope for in these dark times. Actually, come to think of it, considering how bad you’ve been, this little coal-black gem is more than you deserve for Christmas this year.
The handiwork of vastly talented (but altogether too cheery) master brewer Peter Scholey, Lump of Coal is the perfect stocking stuffer for the beer lover or manic depressive in your family." -- brewery